This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
