I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
