I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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