I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
