I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
