Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize