so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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