umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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