Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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