well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
