My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
