You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
