This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
