My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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