party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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