I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize