Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
