i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
