I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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