question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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