Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
