google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
