Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
