ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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