Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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