Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
