Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
