Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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