This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
