i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
