4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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