No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize