I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
