i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
