so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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