Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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