Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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