just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
