Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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