My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
