I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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