Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
