I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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