3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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