he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize