Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
