It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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