yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize