Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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