I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
