That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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