Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize