So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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