My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
