I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize