I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
