hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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