He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
