Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
