Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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