we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
